Strong Not Skinny: Lifting Weights in Eating Disorder Recovery

The first time I attended yoga I was fifteen years old. I was the youngest person in the class by at least ten years. I started to practice yoga amidst eating disorder recovery, as I attempted to leave behind excessive exercising, and build strength instead. Strong not skinny is my greatest mantra. And it really… Continue reading Strong Not Skinny: Lifting Weights in Eating Disorder Recovery

Bearing My Battle Scars Before I Am Ready

Aside from running an Etsy store, tutoring high school students, and pouring my heart out on this website, I also work in a bakery. Which requires me to wear short sleeves. I have scars. They are battle scars. Some people don't like to call them such, but I'm fighting a hard fucking battle, it's given… Continue reading Bearing My Battle Scars Before I Am Ready

Anorexia: An Introduction

Have you met Ana? Ana-who? I hope you wonder Murmurs – Ana-rexia. When my spiral down the eating disorder rabbit hole began, I didn’t know anorexia existed. I had seen pictures of emaciated women, of course. I thought it was purely about looking in the mirror and seeing an obese person staring back. Having now… Continue reading Anorexia: An Introduction

The Dangers of Numbers

I’m good with numbers. In fact, I like to think I’m pretty exceptional when it comes to working with numbers. My mental arithmetic is pretty on point, which comes in handy at my IRL paying jobs: running an Etsy store, working at a bakery, and tutoring high school students. It definitely speeds up the cash… Continue reading The Dangers of Numbers

Sketches From a Psychiatric Ward

They're strangely aesthetically pleasing. In 2017, I was admitted to three separate psych wards, for a total of six weeks. It might not seem like a lot, and sure I had 46 weeks of non-psych ward living, but these were my first three trips to the ER, and first three admissions to hospital for any… Continue reading Sketches From a Psychiatric Ward

An Untitled Poem

Why is it that getting dressed Causes me so much distress? And dresses with pockets are rarer Than any form of self-instigated self-care? Dried blood on my wrists and on my thighs Like a burgundy tattoo that gives me a high. Not to look at, but to feel the pain; This refuge from hurt, is… Continue reading An Untitled Poem

Icarus and the Phoenix – A Poem

I am plummeting, an Icarus without sacred plumage, nor the beauty of a soft dusting of undergrowth, to break my fall. Each time I rise, I am a phoenix, but even phoenixes will finally die. Being engulfed in agony, where I seek shelter, and comfort, and safety, and learn to decorate pain, like A.W. Toad… Continue reading Icarus and the Phoenix – A Poem

Philosophical Bathroom Stalls

"I smoke to get high, because the world is so low" During a lovely catch up over coffee with a wonderful friend, I went to use the bathroom. Now, most public bathrooms have graffiitied doors. It's generally not very nice graffiti, including a lot of expletives, phone numbers and doodles of doodles. This bathroom however,… Continue reading Philosophical Bathroom Stalls

A New Kind of Veganism

Eighteen months ago, I made the decision to adopt a vegan lifestyle. Not just a diet, a lifestyle. I would no longer consume animal products in any way, which meant not just as food, but indirectly through the purchase of clothing and household goods too. Now, at the time, I gave three reasons for this… Continue reading A New Kind of Veganism

Blogging, round two

Follow my blog with Bloglovin I like to write. I like to ramble. I like to blog. This isn't the first time I've tried my hand at blogging. Nor will it probably be the last. My perfectionism kicked in a little too much with my last project, and it will inevitably become yet another project… Continue reading Blogging, round two