for my final essay in advanced creative writing – my final essay i will ever write in my undergraduate degree, my final essay before i start my thesis next year – i am writing about bpd, which is number 301.83 in the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders fifth edition.

this is how it starts:

To diagnose a personality disorder there must be significant functional disturbance of an enduring and inflexible nature of long duration leading to undue distress and psychosocial impairment. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fifth Edition(DSM-V) classifies ten distinct personality disorders into three clusters based on descriptive symptomatic similarities: A – odd or eccentric; B – dramatic, emotional or erratic; and C – anxious or fearful.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a Cluster B psychiatric condition with difficulties manifest in persistent patterns of disturbed cognition, emotional experience, emotional expression and maladaptive coping mechanisms. The typical features of BPD are instability in the areas of self-image, personal goals, and interpersonal relationships. Characteristic dysfunction is therefore apparent in areas of identity, empathy, and/or intimacy with accompanying impulsivity, hypersensitivity, and/or hostility

In a clinical setting, borderlines are notorious for a pervasive pattern of abrupt mood swings and affective instability. Thus, extreme care should be taken when handling such patients, particularly during suicidal crises which are often both regular and prolonged. Implementation of the 2007 NSW Mental Health Care Act is recommended for treatment-resistant individuals who present as a danger to themselves and/or others. Physical restraint is preferable to chemical sedation when treating these revolving-door patients.

Ultimately, BPD is an emotional dysregulation disorder with marked impulsivity and instability across a variety of emotional and social domains emerging by early adulthood, as indicated by the presence of five or more of the following symptoms.

it’s supposed to be tongue in cheek but i don’t know if it’s quite tongue in cheek enough.

the rest of the essay is made up of memories / crises according to symptom. so i talk about my worst dissociative episode and that section of the essay is called SEVERE DISSOCIATIVE SYMPTOMS AND/OR TRANSIENT, STRESS-RELATED PARANOIA AND/OR PSYCHOSIS-LIKE EPISODES IN SITUATIONS OF EXTREME AROUSAL and i’m trying out a new style of writing and i want to know what you think of it, it’s inspired by a memoir i’m reading by james frey called a million little pieces and its un-put-downable.

today i drank coffee for breakfast and wine for dinner.

i’m going to be thin again.

3 thoughts on “301.83

  1. I have been eating plenty of salads and that works better than wine for weight loss for me. Although we all need wine to cope at times.
    Your new style of writing? I did like your old style too.
    My son has Bpd and it is so distressing for all of us to see him struggle. Most of all him.
    I like that you are writing about it in order to increase awareness, as that can only help. Keep writing and very well done, Rosie.


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