Hands and Faces 2

Drawings and sketches of hands and faces. I'm a little obsessed with hands and anatomy. I guess you could consider the faces self portraits of a kind. Selected prints for sale through Etsy.

This Rollercoaster I Ride

There's this thing about being me. It's that I live on an emotional rollercoaster. I don't know if a particular mental illness is at fault (BPD, I'm looking at you) or a combination of the whole fun package. I can feel fine. I can feel more than fine, in fact. I can be smiling, smirking,… Continue reading This Rollercoaster I Ride

Suicide Doesn’t Seem Selfish To Me

People say that suicide is selfish. And sure, they're right - it is selfish to leave behind bereft family and friends who you cannot support, who will never know your last words and last thoughts, and constantly question if they could have helped, if they could have done more. Keeping me alive is also selfish.… Continue reading Suicide Doesn’t Seem Selfish To Me

I’m Sorry. To My Friends, Family, and Self.

I’m sorry to have confused you for so long. For not eating in front of you, then binging on chocolate at sleepovers, appearing normal, and immediately returning to that desolate place of starvation. I'm sorry I never said my anorexia was binge/purge sub-type, because then it would have made more sense. I’m sorry for the… Continue reading I’m Sorry. To My Friends, Family, and Self.

Hands and Faces 1

Drawings and sketches of hands and faces. I'm a little obsessed with hands and anatomy. I guess you could consider the faces self portraits of a kind. Selected prints for sale through Etsy.

Strong Not Skinny: Lifting Weights in Eating Disorder Recovery

The first time I attended yoga I was fifteen years old. I was the youngest person in the class by at least ten years. I started to practice yoga amidst eating disorder recovery, as I attempted to leave behind excessive exercising, and build strength instead. Strong not skinny is my greatest mantra. And it really… Continue reading Strong Not Skinny: Lifting Weights in Eating Disorder Recovery

Bearing My Battle Scars Before I Am Ready

Aside from running an Etsy store, tutoring high school students, and pouring my heart out on this website, I also work in a bakery. Which requires me to wear short sleeves. I have scars. They are battle scars. Some people don't like to call them such, but I'm fighting a hard fucking battle, it's given… Continue reading Bearing My Battle Scars Before I Am Ready

Anorexia: An Introduction

Have you met Ana? Ana-who? I hope you wonder Murmurs – Ana-rexia. When my spiral down the eating disorder rabbit hole began, I didn’t know anorexia existed. I had seen pictures of emaciated women, of course. I thought it was purely about looking in the mirror and seeing an obese person staring back. Having now… Continue reading Anorexia: An Introduction

The Dangers of Numbers

I’m good with numbers. In fact, I like to think I’m pretty exceptional when it comes to working with numbers. My mental arithmetic is pretty on point, which comes in handy at my IRL paying jobs: running an Etsy store, working at a bakery, and tutoring high school students. It definitely speeds up the cash… Continue reading The Dangers of Numbers

Sketches From a Psychiatric Ward

They're strangely aesthetically pleasing. In 2017, I was admitted to three separate psych wards, for a total of six weeks. It might not seem like a lot, and sure I had 46 weeks of non-psych ward living, but these were my first three trips to the ER, and first three admissions to hospital for any… Continue reading Sketches From a Psychiatric Ward