Bringing Clarity To My Eating Disorder(s)

This is my safe space, where I do whatever the fuck I want. Sometimes, I write eloquently and in full sentences, and sometimes my writing becomes a pure stream of consciousness, which can be identified by the increased use of swear words and italics. Because this is my space where I do whatever the fuck… Continue reading Bringing Clarity To My Eating Disorder(s)

A Look Inside My Recovery Journal (and my soul)

Warning: it's a mess. This is my recovery journal. Here, I do writing assignments from this incredible eating disorder recovery self help book and activities from therapy, plan my days hour by hour when things are tough (and also when they're not, because plans and lists make me feel safe), and emotionally purge everything that's… Continue reading A Look Inside My Recovery Journal (and my soul)

Binge Eating Aftermath

I just ate two boxes of muesli bars. I regret every bite. And I want to hurt myself. Bad. Real bad. Because of the whole broken arm deal I can't exercise-purge tomorrow. I could cycle, but I wouldn't be able to do it properly. So Ana has plans for us to restrict instead. We won't… Continue reading Binge Eating Aftermath

When Goal Setting Makes Me Suicidal

2017 was the first year I sought eating disorder treatment since anorexia developed in 2011. My recovery prior to this was undertaken by myself, without input from any health professionals. This was not a healthy decision. I know of people who have undertaken their own recovery and weight restoration and done an incredible job, grown… Continue reading When Goal Setting Makes Me Suicidal